How are we raising our children?
Some of you might already know that I’m a USMC Veteran and ‘that’ might influence in part my character. I never got “an allowance” as a child and neither did my wife and we turned out ok. Both academically prepared, she has a BS in Electrical Engineering and I have a BA in Political Science and a BA in Africana Studies. I believe that everyone should pull the weight of their home.
We [wife & I] have 4 children. Very polite, respectful and well behaved. We do our part providing and taking care of them, while they do their part getting good grades and doing what they are assigned to do at home. They are well fed, well clothed, well traveled, well cultured and have always lived a very comfortable life, not to mention that they have ALWAYS enjoyed of our UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, APPRECIATION and most importantly, our LOVE.
I don’t allow my children to play on the streets, because times are not the same as when I was growing up. Usually, every day they get to go to the “Boys & Girls Club”, the “YMCA” or I take them to the park to burn energy playing and being children, but ONLY after finishing •their academic & home duties•.
THEY GET NO ALLOWANCE and still function perfectly like the good children they are and great members of society they surely will be.
3 of them are in gifted courses at school and the other is in advanced placement. They are involved in extra curricular activities both in and out of school, they speak two languages and are in the process of learning a third.
A “child” needs NO MONEY of their own. A child is a child. A child ONLY needs a safe home with loving and responsible parents.
Why does a child need money for? As a parent… if they “want” something, either you buy it because THEY DESERVE/NEED IT… or you don’t! Period!
The ONLY money I could probably consider as PARTIALLY theirs, is money received from someone else as a gift. If at the time of receiving the funds, they need/deserve something, well… those funds will definitely be destined to fulfill that need. If they don’t “need” anything at the time of the gift, then they get to spend it under DIRECT SUPERVISION and approval, or deposit the cash in their BANK ACCOUNT (with academic destination).
My children have a list of DUTIES posted on the refrigerator to assess and carry on, after doing their school OBLIGATIONS and I dare them to ‘demand’ ANY money. The graphic below denotes my children’s Duty List of weekly house tasks. Some of the terminology is regular Marine Corps lingo (Barracks/room, Chow Hall/Informal Dinning, Head/Bathroom,…). The list is number/color coded to designate each specific duty as follow:
1 Gyäsi (14y/o boy): yellow
2 Gözie (12y/o boy): green
3 Gyäni (12y/o boy): blue
4 Gysäni (10y/o girl): purple
Video consoles, games, handheld devices, electronics and “brand-name” clothing/shoes ARE NOT FREE and NEITHER they are mandatory for a parent to provide. My kids have them all because they “pay” with EXCELLENT GRADES & BEHAVIOR. There is no such a thing as getting anything below a “B” in my house or there would be consequences.
I’m not a hypocrite person demanding from them what I myself don’t give an example of. No! I demand from them excellence, because I give then excellence. They have access to my own academic grades to serve as leverage. Education starts at home…
“Educate the children of today, so we won’t have to punish the adults of tomorrow”.